why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
