he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
