508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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