So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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