We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
