Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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