Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
