is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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