I got chris browned last night
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
