Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
