Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
