its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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