im drinking this country out of the recession.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
