four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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