im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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