she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
