What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
