it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
