Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
