What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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