Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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