You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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