He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
