Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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