jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
