Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
