marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
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I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
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You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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