And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
