morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
