And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
