her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
no, he came in my armpit
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
