Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
