I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude i'm inner monologue high
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
