O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
