I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize