i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
