I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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