she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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