At least make sure they are 18
Why
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
