Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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