I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
