I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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