Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
