So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
