And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
