drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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