you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
NoShamevember. You game?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
