You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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