I want to stick my p in your. b.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize
