in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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