Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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