ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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