He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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