Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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