Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
They are going to name an STD after you.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
