I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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