the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize
