He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
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Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
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guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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