Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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