I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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