eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The uberlube is also flammable
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
try to milk me bitch
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