2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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