Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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