He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
we're making bets on your personal life
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
