My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
...so i touched it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
