the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
